You’ve spent the last 5 months missing your spouse – hoping they will be the same person that left, or maybe a different person than they left, I don’t know. I’ve experienced both.
Its time to get the ReDeployment / Homecoming list ready and you grow excited over buying the food your spouse likes, getting him the beer he likes in the fridge, the wine she likes on the counter, the detergent they like…the extra toilet paper…fabric softener…soap…
….and all of the sudden you’re pissed because “this is what I’m excited for?” To buy soap?
Like, I’m a servant?
You wonder if they are going to come back with anything or will they be empty handed. Then you feel it.
The oh shit I’m a terrible person because my spouse has been gone for 6 months and I’m mad that I have to buy soap and I’m mad that I didn’t get a present from last deployment and WHO the hell thinks like this?!
Clearly you’re a terrible human being right? You’re unpatriotic. You should be arrested for treason. What could they possibly bring back from a war zone anyways? Is there shopping?
Well, i don’t want anything, i just want my husband / wife home and for them to be happy with me and the kids and…
Oh shit the kids.
Their grades are lower than usual, they’ve been fighting everyday, they stopped eating anything nutritious because dad is gone, their rooms are a mess.
The dogs will make him happy.
Except the dogs are annoying AF because you didn’t have time to properly train them while your spouse was gone. They were a “deployment project” and you just messed that all up too.
Now its self hatred.
What have I done for the last 6 months anyways?
How bad do I suck that I couldn’t train a dog and make a kid eat broccoli?
I’m here to tell you the truth.
You don’t suck. You’re just stuck.
Stuck in your headspace, judging yourself, unaware of the real damage and self destruction that is caused by your negative thinking. So where did all of this come from?
Is this where you imagined yourself to be?
How does that make you feel?
I know for me when my boys were younger, I would look around and wonder “What the hell have I done to my life?” I didn’t want to have kids until I was 30 and here I was 24 years old with a newborn and an 15 month old. I would look in the mirror and wonder what the hell happened to me. My eyebrows havn’t been plucked, my roots are long, my face is just…not mine.
Have you ever felt something like that? A sadness, a confusion, a lack of understanding of yourself and how exactly you got to this place?
I have no magic answer for how to get through it all other than to be mindful of the feelings and be aware of how they are affecting your day, your relationship with your spouse, with your kids, friends and most importantly yourself.
I help military spouses just like you to find themselves again by shining the light on what they don’t like so they can change that and be free of the negativity, the guilt, the fear, and build the life that they want. I help military spouses learn to put themselves first so they can be the best they can be for themselves and their families. I help military spouses stay in their marriages when they want to, leave when they want to, be what they want to be and fulfill the purpose of their life, whether it is obvious to them or not.
Is this something that you need? Call me. Schedule a time and call me. I will help you find and fulfill your purpose so that you can be excited for life. So you can buy soap and not be sad.
Click here to call me
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